It won’t bite you, it’s just paper.

Since keeping a sketchbook, i’ve always held it to some kind of unreasonable standard. I put my sketchbook on a hypothetical pedestal. I would keep myself from drawing or writing something that arbitrarily popped into my head simply because the idea was not aesthetically “fleshed out.” How dare I draw something that was really only a doodle!! No, no, you see, I believed my sketchbook had to be some kind of finished artist’s book… because every “regular” person I encountered was going to ask if they could look at it. 

In reality I should say, how dare you, common human! What makes you think you can open up the visual representation of my brain patterns? Who gives you the right to view all of my most intimate ideas; word vomit, doodles, and all? 

I started buying those softbound Moleskine sketchbooks.. the ones with that with thin fucking paper that even a ballpoint pen bleeds through. Fuck that hard-covered, watercolor archival paper bullshit!! I don’t need to be intimidated every time I need to sit down and release my visual genius on paper!

Well anyways, since i’ve switched up my sketchbook grind i’ve become a lot more productive. My thoughts are all spelled out and my doodles are inspiring me to elaborate and create something even more visually pleasing. And no, common people, you do not get to “see” my sketchbook whenever your demanding capitalist butts think you deserve to. I will show you when I desire to, and you must realize that the sketchbook is not for you, its for me.

You can have the finished product. You can have the finalized result, but the ideas… those are mine.

New stuff coming soon.



i’m going to rant for a second.

It sucks when you’re a visual artist born into a family of musicians. 

It sucks when you can play multiple musical instruments, but prefer to be immersed in visual arts & design. Instead, you have a sibling that takes the path the family prefers, delving into the realm of music, and therefore your family’s interest becomes more tightly focused on them.

yes, you could call this jealousy- that is probably most true.

But, consider how it feels to be forgotten about by your own family when you have equal talent…

it’s written in the stars;

In June 2011, whilst I was on vacation in France, I read my horoscope [in French]. It read that on July 1st, 2011, I would meet someone that would impact me for the rest of my life.

This seems like it was only weeks ago, but I did end up meeting this person- and it has certainly been a wild ride between the two of us… 

I’ve studied our astrological synastry—wondering how it could be that a single horoscope could predict that I would meet someone (to the exact date, mind you) who truly has had a significant impact on my life. Even explanations in synastry readings have declared that “this is not a causal relationship; you will know each other for the rest of your lives.”

To those who view astrology as horse shit, trust me, I know where you are coming from. But the possibility of its reality and the seeming coincidences that add up far too complexly must mean something. It is strange to me. I am utterly confused as to how and why this has come to be or why the stars seem to predict that I will never rid myself of this human being. 

There is much to learn, and so little time. 

intermediate drawing, proj. #3

For our third drawing assignment, we have been asked to create 6-9 11”x15” drawings that demonstrate and narrate a particular political idea/social event that has happened within the last 10 years. 

I have chosen to do mine on religion— a very broad topic, and also one that is a never-ending topic.  Though, I have narrowed it down to focus mainly on the idea that religion is man-made and therefore extremely flawed. How then, can I depict these flaws within organized religion (particularly christian) and somehow express that it is null? My imagery will reflect several “plays” on typical religious imagery… some of which may be particularly offensive to certain people; but the idea remains strong- of course this is what I hope to accomplish. 

My images will reflect the following ideas:

1. the misunderstood character of Lucifer

2. the game of “telephone” (verbal communication of religious ideology is misheard/mistranslated over time, resulting in a misconstrued version of the original meaning)

3. “God” is female

4. symbolism noted as ambiguous; it is changed according to viewpoint and revised accordingly (ie. crosses have separate meanings away from christianity, etc)

5. the fact that other religions exist; making it impossible for one religion to truly be “correct”

6. the fact that christianity is from an egocentric, earthly, human-based viewpoint; therefore ignoring the idea of life on other planets and the development of heavenly bodies/the universe (which is only briefly mentioned in the bible)

7. neglecting to follow religious virtues & blame it on sin

8. the “loophole” of sinning [ie/ do whatever you want just to be forgiven- defeats the purpose] 

errr. yeah. so if I think of more, I shall be ammending this list.

feedback is awesome, xo 


tonight I do not feel like understanding;

my brain has shut off; my soul is exposed.. I am floating gently through time absorbing every detail emotionally. my reactions are slowly shying from reason and turning towards feeling. instinct. the rationality of the heart which is [in truth] irrational. 

I don’t know how long this will last, but I am wounded/

[dont go] 

mind over body;

So, my mono lasted like a week and a half… even though the doctor told me to expect to feel extremely lethargic for 4-6 weeks. I think I actually ended up feeling lethargic for 2 days, and after that, school started. There was no time to feel sick, because I am in a college art class that literally KICKS YOUR ASS. 

I would just like to say, for the record, that I have been busting art out like crazy… and because i’ve been so completely focused on something I like to do, and determined to do it to the standards of my class, I have also kicked mono’s ass. 

Yup. Just goes to prove the concept of mind over body… just gotta tell yourself there is no time to be sick, and push through.

I think it’s funny

when it becomes easier and easier to see the reasons why people choose to do the things they do; when you can see how influenced human beings are.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to take influence as inspiration and formulate your own interests and ideas from that starting point.

stop being fucking drones.

A cross is simply two perpendicular lines.

I was thinking about how there has been an excess of debate going on about symbolism and how anti-crosses are actually catholic, and swastikas are from asian culture, etc.

I understand a human’s desire to give meaning to everything, and this is an important part of culture and existence in general. However, I think we must realize that if we, ourselves, desire to put meaning towards something, it will not and does not have to have the same meaning to each individual; nor does it have to have the same meaning it had in the past as it does in the present. 

Each individual human being has their right to interpret anything and everything as they please. Believe what you wish to believe in the present, forget the past, and live towards the future.